i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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