Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
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