did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
