i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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