i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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