So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
