Need sex. Gaining weight.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
you inspire me to be a worse person
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
