All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
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