Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
