apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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