so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
