oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
