i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
You made out with two different species that night
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
