All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I think my moral compass just broke
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
