You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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