Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
