Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
