i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Randomize
