So drunk its hurt
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Panties = found
Randomize
