um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Randomize
