but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Randomize
