Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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