is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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