It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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