making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
