you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
