My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
