Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
