toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
She's not a foreskin expert like you
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
