yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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