I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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