Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I skipped work to stalk him.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
