the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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