I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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