Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
