u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
