He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
