...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
