I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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