Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
