I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Randomize
