we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
