Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
