I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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