he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
