Barsexuality is the new black.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
