Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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