We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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