We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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