just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I supernannyed him into submission
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
