i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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