Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
