I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Randomize
